Today is my second (and a half) day at Halcrow Philippines. Yep, I got a job. I mean a second job, since I was already involved in the Planades project when I accepted Halcrow's offer . Now I don't really know which is my “primary” job at this point. Last week I was absent from Halcrow (for two and a half days!) because I had to go to Baguio for a Planades activity. I know, bad. But I already warned Halcrow about this, and they hired me anyway.

I must admit I’m enjoying Planades thoroughly. There's so much activity, and I like the people I'm working with (with the exception of some very annoying individuals. But what can I do, that's planning.) I have yet to be excited about my actual work at Halcrow. My direct boss is on sick leave--has been for over a week--which means there's very little for me to do except browse the company’s intranet and read company materials. I'm very interested in the company's profile and projects though, and I do hope that my being part of them in some small way would be an enriching experience. Plus, it's a British company, a fact that I absolutely luuuuv. Man, the British are fantastic. Love the accent, love their charmingly formal yet frank ways, love the humor. Love them. Plus, our regional planner--who's very nice and insists that I drop the "sir" when addressing him--is a town and country planner back in Britain. Akindred spirit. Love it.

My only problem is time. It's hard to juggle two companies when you're not the boss in either. You're answerable and accountable to both, and you go around thinking if you should be guilty or self-righteous about why you're prioritizing one over the other at any given moment. You have no excuse and double the responsibility. It's excruciating. But there's really nothing I can do. I guess they'll just have to live with it.

Whether it's Planades or Halcrow, I'm definitely off the couch and out of the house. For whatever it's worth, this is a good thing. I got a lot of flak from relatives who constantly asked what I was up to (read: are you still jobless?), and friends who thought one of the following: 1) I'm having the time of my life because I don't have to worry about work responsibilities 2) I'm secretly miserable and they're secretly sorry for me or 3) I'm a useless, broken cog in the wheel of society and they are secretly annoyed by the fact that I hadn't done anything about it.

Thing is, I don't care much for others' opinions of me when it comes to work. I'd rather be jobless than stuck in something for which I feel nothing but distinct abhorrence. However, for a time I did feel a sting of helplessness and impatience, one that emanated not from others, but from within. Interestingly, it was when I got over the hump and decided that worrying won't do me any good that the work started rolling in. I had to be okay first, before life could made things okay for me. I'm not sure if that makes sense. All I know is that positivity begets positivity. Also, that things come at the right time, at the right place. So no questions, and no room for doubt. Because the universe is perfect that way, and if we can't understand that, then we would be miserable.